is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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