Non-Jews are for practice
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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