try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I supernannyed him into submission
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize