I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize