she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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