i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
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So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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