if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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