i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize