There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
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Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
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Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dicks are not precious.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize