genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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