Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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