Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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