I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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