whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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