I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
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