No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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