I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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