OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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