Don't you send me to vm
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize