After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
True strength comes from lack of pants
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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