It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
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