so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize