sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize