i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize