I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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