So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize