Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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