I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize