super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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