He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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