worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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