sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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