We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize