My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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