If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
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I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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