Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
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You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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