I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize