So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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