I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
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He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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