my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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