What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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