just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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