What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
