she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
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3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
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The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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