I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize