i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize