I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
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One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
And then he peed in my hair
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