How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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