how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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