For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
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Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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