god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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